The plaintiff's side made a lot of good, extensive arguments. It was my case to lose.
When it was my turn to speak I merely called the lead investigator to the stand and unsheathed a blow-up print of a hat in a grassy field next to a cold, blue-ish hand and a yellow marker with a number on it.
I Snapchatted this pic when the judge wasn't looking
I asked the man, in congenial fashion, what type of hat was in the photograph.
The veteran officer began to mumble, as if a lump was in his throat. Stuttering, he eventually whimpered the words, "A fedora."
An uproar of yammering and whispers ignited amongst the jurors. "No further questions," I added.
What subsequently followed was the shortest deliberation in Illinois law history. Without even leaving their seats, my client received a verdict of "Not guilty."
The crowd erupted in a boisterous applause. The standing ovation led to me being hoisted and passed amongst the audience until reaching the courthouse steps where the mayor awaited, handing me a freshly minted key to the city.
I must say I am pretty proud of myself.
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